Dum da da dum, dum da dum! Dum da da dum, dum da dum dum dum!!!
Ah, Indiana Jones! Generations know the theme song off by heart and remember Indy shooting the sword-wielding dude... Okay, maybe only I remember the second bit!
One of my readers asked me to share my Indiana Jones story from a previous blog. Acutally there are two, completely unrelated Indiana Jones stories I will bore you with... Because I can!
When I was in high school I use to catch the bus. All 6 busses lined up in a row and waited until they were full, or they had to leave. Normally I was pretty punctual to catch the bus home, but I'd had a less than punctual week and had missed a couple of busses. I really needed to make the next bus!
I'm walking to the bus with some friends, feeling like I'm on time, when we reach the back of the sixth bus in line (my bus was third in line). As I look up, I see my bus beginning to leave!! I can't miss this bus, so I start to run! As I get closer to the bus, I realize the door is still open. I grab the pole in the doorway and swing myself onto the bus... ending up sitting on the floor next to the driver! I'm sure they weren't impressed, but they didn't throw me off and I made the bus!
Next day, I meet up with one of my friends who saw my mad dash for the bus. He proudly announced that he started humming the theme from Indiana Jones the minute I started running for the bus!
Now, that was not the Indiana Jones story that was requested, but I thought I'd tell it anyway. Here's the requested one...
As mentioned in a previous post, I made the second round of interviews for a job at a national intelligence agency. This required a trip the national capital for a series of individual and group activities (to see if I had the right stuff).
One such activity had three parts: We were taken out into the grounds of the venue to study a prepared situation laid out before us. Next, we were interviewed separately to describe the situation and how we would approach it, before finally working as a group to overcome the situation.
During my interview, I described what I saw: A series of obstacles needed to be overcome as the group would make their way through a passage to a central area. In this area was a large tarp with a small trinket in the center. I felt that the trinket was the object of the challenge.
I felt I was not clearly explaining this last part, so I called upon Indy: "You remember the scene from Indiana Jones, when Indy is stealing the golden statue and used a bag of sand to prevent the boobie-traps from being sprung? Well that's what we're going to need to do here..."
I did not get the job...
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Green cards aren't actually green... and the real story about how I got here.
I got my green card in the mail today... It's not green, though I knew that would be the case. It's quite alright with me, because it means I can stay here. I don't have to worry about doing something stupid and being sent home (and we all know I'm capable of stupid!). I can be here with my wife, and that's all I want.
It got me thinking... How did I really end up here? I know some of my audience (probably 2 out of the 4) will think "you flew in a number of large airplanes for a very long time", which is technically correct, but it's not the whole story.
For the whole story, my readers need to hear about a missing professor, a missing vaccination, and a lack of intelligence and organization...
When I completed my undergraduate degree, I knew I wanted to do my honours year under the supervision of Professor HPLC on forensic analysis. We had talked about possible projects at the end of 3rd year, so I was ahead of the game. Come orientation week for us honours students (yes computer, that is how you spell "honours"...), I was feeling good about my plans, and paid only scant attention to the projects being offered by other professors. One professor, who was known for his easy grading but of who I wasn't a huge fan, did offer a forensics project... I took mild interest.
Nearing the end of the second day of talks on the offered projects it became apparent that my chosen professor wasn't due to talk. While this seemed strange, we had 3 students already showing interest in his work (the maximum allowed number), so we figured he was just not bothering to tell the other honours students his research. Still, the 3 of us found him and eventually convinced him to talk to the honours class. He seemed rather uninterested in presenting... At the end of the day, we put in out 3 choices for our honours projects, with the matches being announced at the end of the week.
Friday comes, and I am asked to go talk with the honours coordinator and the head of department... along with the other 2 prospective Professor HPLC students... We were each told that Professor HPLC was leaving the department, and that we had 1 hour to choose a new honours project!!! Of course, we spent the first half of our time tracking down this professor and giving him a piece of our minds (having worked in academia for a while now, I realize that the professor couldn't really tell us before it was official, but it's still frustrating).
With 1/2 hour left to find a lab, I approached the professor with the other forensic project... I announced my presence by slamming open the lab door (yes, you can slam open a door!). I found the professor to be sympathetic to my situation and very enthusiastic about taking me on as a student... While I still felt somewhat unsettled, I had found my lab...
At the end of my honours year, I applied for a PhD scholarship. I didn't get one at first and went looking for a job. I got an interview for a chemist position at a government forensic lab. The interview went well and they were looking for me to start straight away (while it was only a short-term position, I could see it leading to a full time forensic job!). They finally asked if I had my Hepatitis B vaccination... I did not. It requires a course of 3 injections over several weeks, so the job didn't work out (the vaccination was required for the position).
Eventually I managed to get a PhD scholarship and completed a PhD in the lab of my honours professor.
Nearing the end of my PhD, I began a job search. I cast my net fairly wide, not just forensics, but medical science, biochemistry, and even non-scientific jobs. One such job was joining my country's intelligence organization (I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you!). I ended up making it to the 2 round of interviews, which included a 3 day trip to the nation's capital. Despite enjoying the trip, I did not get the position (maybe taking copious photos while I was there and invoking "Indiana Jones" in part of the interview were not great ideas...), and I returned home to a phone interview for a postdoc in a pathology lab.
I got that job, came over here, met a wonderful woman, got my current job, got married, and yesterday my green card came in the mail... Did I mention that it's not actually green?
It got me thinking... How did I really end up here? I know some of my audience (probably 2 out of the 4) will think "you flew in a number of large airplanes for a very long time", which is technically correct, but it's not the whole story.
For the whole story, my readers need to hear about a missing professor, a missing vaccination, and a lack of intelligence and organization...
When I completed my undergraduate degree, I knew I wanted to do my honours year under the supervision of Professor HPLC on forensic analysis. We had talked about possible projects at the end of 3rd year, so I was ahead of the game. Come orientation week for us honours students (yes computer, that is how you spell "honours"...), I was feeling good about my plans, and paid only scant attention to the projects being offered by other professors. One professor, who was known for his easy grading but of who I wasn't a huge fan, did offer a forensics project... I took mild interest.
Nearing the end of the second day of talks on the offered projects it became apparent that my chosen professor wasn't due to talk. While this seemed strange, we had 3 students already showing interest in his work (the maximum allowed number), so we figured he was just not bothering to tell the other honours students his research. Still, the 3 of us found him and eventually convinced him to talk to the honours class. He seemed rather uninterested in presenting... At the end of the day, we put in out 3 choices for our honours projects, with the matches being announced at the end of the week.
Friday comes, and I am asked to go talk with the honours coordinator and the head of department... along with the other 2 prospective Professor HPLC students... We were each told that Professor HPLC was leaving the department, and that we had 1 hour to choose a new honours project!!! Of course, we spent the first half of our time tracking down this professor and giving him a piece of our minds (having worked in academia for a while now, I realize that the professor couldn't really tell us before it was official, but it's still frustrating).
With 1/2 hour left to find a lab, I approached the professor with the other forensic project... I announced my presence by slamming open the lab door (yes, you can slam open a door!). I found the professor to be sympathetic to my situation and very enthusiastic about taking me on as a student... While I still felt somewhat unsettled, I had found my lab...
At the end of my honours year, I applied for a PhD scholarship. I didn't get one at first and went looking for a job. I got an interview for a chemist position at a government forensic lab. The interview went well and they were looking for me to start straight away (while it was only a short-term position, I could see it leading to a full time forensic job!). They finally asked if I had my Hepatitis B vaccination... I did not. It requires a course of 3 injections over several weeks, so the job didn't work out (the vaccination was required for the position).
Eventually I managed to get a PhD scholarship and completed a PhD in the lab of my honours professor.
Nearing the end of my PhD, I began a job search. I cast my net fairly wide, not just forensics, but medical science, biochemistry, and even non-scientific jobs. One such job was joining my country's intelligence organization (I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you!). I ended up making it to the 2 round of interviews, which included a 3 day trip to the nation's capital. Despite enjoying the trip, I did not get the position (maybe taking copious photos while I was there and invoking "Indiana Jones" in part of the interview were not great ideas...), and I returned home to a phone interview for a postdoc in a pathology lab.
I got that job, came over here, met a wonderful woman, got my current job, got married, and yesterday my green card came in the mail... Did I mention that it's not actually green?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Happy Australia Day!
It might be a bit late for the Aussies back home, but happy Australia Day to all the Aussies out there. Enjoy the sand, beer, meat pies, and cricket!
Friday, November 13, 2009
A Friday Funny!
Our students interact on an online forum when not in class. While their posts are often be interesting, the following exchange between two students made me laugh out loud...
(Of course, identities have been changed to protect the innocent...)
Student A - "So a few of weeks ago, i was discussing with Student X and Student Y the possibility of genetically engineering humans to where we're really short. I'm not really sure if this is very realistic but if it were/is possible don't you think it would be extremely beneficial? And not just to us but to the environment as well? Because i mean being shorter would require less space, less stuff to eat, less water (in a way) and pretty much less everything!"
Student B - "But then our pets could eat us."
(Of course, identities have been changed to protect the innocent...)
Student A - "So a few of weeks ago, i was discussing with Student X and Student Y the possibility of genetically engineering humans to where we're really short. I'm not really sure if this is very realistic but if it were/is possible don't you think it would be extremely beneficial? And not just to us but to the environment as well? Because i mean being shorter would require less space, less stuff to eat, less water (in a way) and pretty much less everything!"
Student B - "But then our pets could eat us."
Monday, September 28, 2009
Quotable quotes...
I came across these while searching for something online... Enjoy!
Douglas Adams -
"The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don’t even know you’re making."
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."
Franklin P. Adams -
"I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way."
Scott Adams -
"Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."
Anonymous -
"An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care."
"A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library."
"Confidence: The feeling you have before you understand the situation."
"Statistics means never having to say you’re certain."
"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."
"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
Isaac Asimov -
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (I found it!) but “That’s funny. . . ”."
Burt Bacharach -
"A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of."
Douglas Adams -
"The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don’t even know you’re making."
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."
Franklin P. Adams -
"I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way."
Scott Adams -
"Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."
Anonymous -
"An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care."
"A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library."
"Confidence: The feeling you have before you understand the situation."
"Statistics means never having to say you’re certain."
"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."
"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
Isaac Asimov -
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (I found it!) but “That’s funny. . . ”."
Burt Bacharach -
"A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of."
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Just the right thing for a Friday afternoon...
Yesterday afternoon I received the following departmental email:
"A bright green frog was found by the Building X elevators on the 4th floor. Does this frog belong to anyone in a research area? (This is not a joke and its not even a full moon). If this frog is unclaimed, do you know anyone that wants it? I am not not that fond of frogs!"
Shortly afterwards, the following reply was sent to the whole department:
"This is your chance…..Kiss it."
Ah, Friday!
"A bright green frog was found by the Building X elevators on the 4th floor. Does this frog belong to anyone in a research area? (This is not a joke and its not even a full moon). If this frog is unclaimed, do you know anyone that wants it? I am not not that fond of frogs!"
Shortly afterwards, the following reply was sent to the whole department:
"This is your chance…..Kiss it."
Ah, Friday!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
If I am a secret agent, it's news to me...
I got an email from a workmate today, and for a moment I thought I was a spy...
"... and if you wouldn't mind looking for it, I have a scrap piece of white paper on my desk or in my black folder that has several PI names in someone else's handwriting and 2 names written in the bottom right corner in my scribble. I was wondering it you could tell me those 2 names (one's last name is Pickup)..."
Contact the people written on the fry-pan... Where's Whoopi Goldberg when you need her?
"... and if you wouldn't mind looking for it, I have a scrap piece of white paper on my desk or in my black folder that has several PI names in someone else's handwriting and 2 names written in the bottom right corner in my scribble. I was wondering it you could tell me those 2 names (one's last name is Pickup)..."
Contact the people written on the fry-pan... Where's Whoopi Goldberg when you need her?
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